I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
