I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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