i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
