break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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