When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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