alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
