i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
