I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
