Porn is love you can see.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
