Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this just has baby written all over it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
