That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
