Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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