her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
