My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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