dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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