Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry carllllllllllll hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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(207): View more from Maine

I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

Fav 15 7116 1003
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol

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(248): View more from Michigan

I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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(616): View more from Michigan

The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.

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(317): View more from Indiana

The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!

(812): View more from Indiana

It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap

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