I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
