Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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