11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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