I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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