love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
