My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
