I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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