she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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