this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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