hotel room ftw
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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