Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
