no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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