Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize