quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
