I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
