are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
