I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
