No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize