hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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