he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
