he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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