You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
