There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize