He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
