It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
