also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
