We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
