just tell him i said nine months
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
