I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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