Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
