i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize