She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
