i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
