i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
