How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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