I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
