She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
