brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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