Swine flu is the new snow day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize