oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Someone shit on the floor
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
