it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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