I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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