I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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