Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
