God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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