I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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