hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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