I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
