Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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