...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
