I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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